Chivs86 Poetry - Tears of a Clown

Chivs86 Poetry - Tears of a Clown Spoken Word Video (click below) https://youtu.be/_8EGVpx6sZs Lyrics As old as laughter. You know who you are.  Not the Ringmaster but the main show - there for making Jokes. Though sad yes it is when all the people go home and the Circus Man is then all alone... The other side what people don't know.. of the Funny Man. All of a sudden he's sad. Has nothing left to do but to practice on his act. He's got nobody and that's a fact. So as he drown in his sorrow thinking roll on tomorrow. When nobody's watching him - out the window. What he really thinks - is somehow he doesn't know is how that an all time high can make him feel so low. ***** The life of the party and soul. Always doing something silly normally at his own... EXPENSE! but why though? Is what he doesn't know. Is how that an all time high can make him feel so low. At the end of the show - Like If only he had a Friend when he went.. Home! Back home! Instead of only being known for his jokes... **** So with his big red nose,and his feet that poke... into his funny shoes ready for his next show. but as he looks back at the unicycle he rode   this funny man really is not in the mood, because under this big brave face this is the truth.. If some people, if they only knew that behind all of this humor this funny man really is not amused. ***** Because how would you like it - if you was the fool and people never stopped laughing. Made to wear make up as a mask - thick enough to hide the pain in your heart.  So next time you laugh - Now understand underneath that it's hard - To be this Star of the Show because everybody on this Earth has a Soul. Even the most funniest of Clowns. They get sad like the rest of us somehow. Though never when in front of his crowd will you ever see the True Tears of a Clown!  *****

Chivs86 Lyrics - Lady Macbeth

*********************************************
Inspired by the song by 2pac - Changes
& Macbeth by William Shakespere.
*********************************************
The seeds of mistrust have now been planted -
but
That's just the way it is.
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Things will never be the same again.

As when we both first fell in love -
Now detest -

Since the moment you became Macbeth's...

Lady Precious -
Now I can't get the picture out of my head
Of back then when we first met
Oh heck
what happened to us since then?

Pain and Upset.
I wonder
what happened to trust since then?
Since when that we was both friends.
Now things now can't ever be the same again.

And that's just the way it is.
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Things will never be the same again.

Since when we both first fell in love,
Now detest -
from the moment you became Macbeth's.

********************************************
Verse 1
********************************************

I Wonder -
how ever did you steal my thunder?
Your comfort how did it become so sun burnt?
& did you have to get drunk first?
Or was it like one word,
and you come running like you just heard -
Your problems would get solved -
like a Crossword -
& you thought If you went with him,
It might work -
It might work
but why then was it whilst i was still at work?
That you was at home and getting served.
When I didn't know
what you was getting up to.
Which hurt,
more than I can put in words
Next man in the bed with my bird.

So was it because i deserved it?
An accident,
or did you do it on purpose -
to hurt me more
than I have ever been hurting
been hurt before?

To have me begging like a desperate virgin.
Emerging into cracks on the surface
Bursting out in to tears over you,
or did you know that he'd be doomed -
to his death
because of you my Lady Macbeth

My Lady Precious,
Now I can't the picture out of my head,
Of both you and him in the bed
Now he's dead!
because of you, Mrs Lady Macbeth.

********************************************

External Links:(for other poems& lyrics by chivs86)

http://chivs86.hubpages.com

*********************************************


Story & Inspiration.


My poem 'Lady Macbeth' is the story of love, and betrayal between a man, and a woman.  It mirrors the story of Shakespere's Macbeth.  The story of an old Earl of Scotland (Macbeth) who's power hungry wife was the manipulator behind several murders leading to his ascension to the throne.


My version though I'd describe as a bit more of a modern take on this.  Essentially in the sense that because of this Woman's actions the Man in this poem / story commits a murder.  Perhaps being the reason for the Woman's betrayal.

Now about the title of this poem I actually studied Shakespere, and Macbeth a few years back for part of my English GCSE.  Always liked the story - so when I woke up when morning, with the 2pac song Changes playing on my mind the two ideas kind of fused to manifest as this poem.

Chivs86 Poetry Presents ...

Did (Committed) Multiple Sins.

People keep on telling me
I'm not as old as I think
but for what I've done already
I don't feel 26.

Just ill when I think
about all the things I've did

I've been a criminal,
since the age of 13.

Living as proof
for the stuff I've been through,
which when look back at
Does not amuse!,
because looking at me
is how youngsters shouldn't be
I remember those words my dad said to me..

About honesty!

But are they in vain?
When I've stole cars, and sold cocaine.

Rode on an emotional train WRECK!

and what a hopeless mess that I've made.

Respect for myself has gone down the drain
Doctors keep on telling me
that I've gone in the brain.
Fallen back in to the culture to binge
and I've already did (committed)
Multiple Sins.

Vandalism, and shoplifting
Gifting my kin with Broken promises

with a loss of accomplishment.
like a convict,
because all I have left
is a crisis of conscience.

that keeps falling back in to the culture to binge
and I've already did (committed) Multiple Sins.

An influence on others that they'd rather not get
and now I'm sorry for all the people I've upset.


With my past, a glass full of regrets

& I'm sorry
but I can't change any of it.

Cos I'm a loser that's lost too much now to win

& I've already did committed Multiple Sins.

************************************

Inspiration

I wrote this poem as an assignment for Helium.com but kind of wanted to expose it a little better as this website is very minimal of imagery, and doesn't allow the author to associate there self with readers to a very great extent.

About this poem though - first things first please ignore the picture of the horse.  That is for a comical purposes only, but otherwise I have done a few things I am not proud of.  So this poem is about that  I wrote this piece when I was 26 - I am now 27, and it was really about spending half of my life getting in trouble.  Not much else really.  I got the title 'Multiple Sins' and used that to reflect a little bit about my past.  Some of the trouble I've been in, and that was it.